I wondered more About My Life ahead
a 'being responsible' post
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"It far more difficult to kill a phantom than reality."
-----Virginia Woolf, an English Feminist
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Waking up at ten o'clock in the morning, i wondered how much alcohol i drank yesterday. 2 Low calorie San Mig Light and i am boned to death by my insipid, self-mutilating brain. I thought i am doing this to be a responsible citizen of my country. but what am i exactly doing this?
Well, for the past few days i am a living dead. Literally alive in the middle of the night with zombified eyes and a caffeine-damages brain. This, my friends, is the state i called and i will always be at: the INSOMIAC CATATONIC STATE. This is a bad ass really, and i feel i am not getting enough sleep to finish everything in the morning. So i thought of buying 2 can of beers to get me intoxicated so that my mind would finally go to sleep. So sipping the beer slowly i opened my laptop to amuse myself before going into the deep sleep. And sudenly somebody came along and watch with me. I was watching SEX and the City movie at watch-movies.net and the roomhopper in the name of Melvin, sat with me to also amused himself. He said he was reviewing for his subject BIO 1 and he thought if he could spare time to take a break just a little here in my room. So i said it's okay. The movie went good, when Carrie and Big get Carried away in a weeding, more people were comming in. And the next thing i know, we were having a stag PARTY! of course that was just an exaggeration. But picture this having 6 men, some of whom you don't know enters your room doing some hokey-pokey with the laptop, playing my roomates guitar, laying unfulfilled in my bed ---- IT's Crazy living in a dormitory. What could be more worst than that--- touching each others butt while watching BRING IT ON? EWWW! it is terrible.
Everything in the room calmed down by two o'clock in the morning and my table was a mess, and i was having post-delusions about the probset in Chem 153 that i am about to finish. So i laid myself at three o'clock with my head cracking and spinning like a top. I am so disappointed with myself. for letting those people control my time. but then a thought came to me, if i don't want to happen it again, how should i control it? or more importantly, are my actions of today entirely connected with my future self? How am i suppose to anticipate this happening?
How should i live to be succesful?
For the past few my simple lufe gets complicated because i am not getting enough sleep. And another thing is, some outside factors are constinuously bombarding me, making my life and my decisions more and more complicated. One instance was not attending the Swimming Session of my CWTS because my Labandera lost my new BENCH Trunks. THis particular complication led me to another complicated situation wherein i have to lie to my team leader the next day to be able to escape from my agony of waking up early for my formal Monday sessions in CWTS. The keyword here folks is escape. Yes, i love to escape and do something more worthwhile like BLOGGING. So having done that, my life gets even more complicated when he texted me that there would be a session that Monday morning because next monday there would be no classes because it's quezon City day. I am greatly appaled by how powerful a split of decision could affect your whole strcuture and maybe your whole life. I may be having the best education in the country but that does not guarantee that i can be a better person in the years to come. It is, of course and most importantly, how i deal with the situations i have everyday. How do i anticipate? Life i think is all about anticipation of yourself. being ready for the consequences of your decisions. This i think is what we all should do. TO ancipate our lives, to anticipate what could hapen if i do these and that. By that thinking we will be able to live our lives more fruitful.
But how? How should i decide now? well, tommorow i have an examination in Envi. Eng'g 31. I have to study in order to pass, in order to have a better understanding of my course. if i don't do this, or i study too soon. one would be i would have to pull an allnighter again, and two is that i won't be able to reach my goal for that subject and for my overall semester's goal--- to have a 1.0 GWA. this is important to continuously note this goal and visualize it having aquired it. It is the power of the mind that cross all boundaries and uncertainties. THis is living a postive outlook, and thus living a positive life. Everyone should live their lives like these. and if youre living a complicated life like mine right now, do not ever escape from it cause it get's a lot complicated than you could ever think. the enxt thing you know---you failed a subject like what i did a year ago. . . it's all in the mind, it's all on yourself.
ciao!
